Finally, here it is: the Marina Orlova porn movie!

Dilbert’s “Salary Theorem” states: “Scientists and Engineers can never earn as much as administrators and sales people.”

This theorem can now be proved mathematically:

Given:

* Power = Work / Time and,
* Knowledge is Power

Substituting knowledge for power, we obtain: Knowledge = Work/ Time

If time = money, then: Knowledge = Work/ Money

Solving this equation for money, we obtain:

Money = Work/ Knowledge

Therefore, as knowledge approaches zero, money approaches infinity, regardless of the amount of work done.
Conclusion: the less you know, the more you make.

When I die, I want to die like my grandmother who died peacefully in her sleep.
Not screaming like all the passengers in her car.

A Bär, a Löwe und a Schwein treffen sich.

Der Bär sagt: “Wenn ich brülle, zittert der ganze Wald vor Angst.”

Der Löwe sagt: “Wenn ich brülle, zittert der ganze Dschungel vor Angst.”

Darauf das Schwein: “Ha, ich brauche nur zu husten und der ganze Planet scheißt sich in die Hose!”

Trifft a Buagnlandla sein Hawara am Neisiedlasee im Winta, der grod Erdn aufn zuagfruaranen see schitt und sche glottziagt.
Sogta: ‘Heast, bist Deppat?! wos moxtn du do? – waun di ana siacht, glaubn olle, dass de Burgnlandla deppat san, weils Erdn aufn zuagfruaranen Neisiedlasee schittn!!’
Sogt da aundare: ‘geh, hoid de Bapm! Am Naumittog kumman de Weana Grundstickl kaufn!!’